Oh no, here it comes again. The doubts, the oh-no-what-have-we done’s. I have:
√ told friends and family back home
√ told friends here
√ resigned my job and found my replacement
√ quit choir
√ let it out on FB
√ started long-distance building our home and our lives elsewhere – back home, but elsewhere
Up until a certain point, a fairly recent one, we could still change our minds and go back on our decision. Even pretend it wasn’t quite real, because sometimes it felt a bit unreal. I guess we always knew we wouldn’t change our minds, but we did have the possibility, and that was after all reassuring. Now however it would be quite difficult and weird, it’s come too far, we’ve come too far, too many and too much involved.
And that’s typically when you get feelings of doubt and briefly of remorse, and you ask yourself what the heck you did that for? You get all soppy and sentimental over things you never thought you would. And you know what you’ve got but not what you’ll get and all that. Bloody comfort zone again (I know, overused term in general and already overused on repatriateme.com, but it’s spot on). The smallest thing can trigger this and then you have to work on it for a while to get back on track.
It’s all part of the deal. A way of adapting and preparing for the move, one step back and two steps forward sometimes. And then you take a reality check with your gut feeling and your list of excellent reasons why you’re doing this, and you know that you’re OK. It’s just a bit confusing.
And who were you kidding when you thought you still had quite a long time to go before the move? Why on earth would time move any more slowly now?